“I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6
The other day I was thinking about some of the new, different, welcomed, and not-so welcomed practices that I have engaged over the past two months. Some of the things I have experienced have been enjoyable, some tedious, some challenging, and some have become new habits.
Below is a spoken word piece I wrote about five years ago as I was experiencing some changes in my life that were welcomed but deeply challenging. I viewed my life at that time as a period of "Becoming". As we are living in these times where many of our routines are turned upside-down, challenges await around many corners, and we are learning something new each day about ourselves, others, and our communities…
We are becoming.
She said that it hurts to become.
It hurts to become... greater than you are... to grow and flourish and move beyond.
Oh and yes it hurts, it hurts deep inside and all over...but looking back, it feels so good.
It hurts to become as I leave behind the old and familiar ways,
the comfortable and easy routine, that which I know so well and delve into areas unknown...
It hurts to become.
The darkness calls me to bring my light and my life and my questions and my answers.
It is only dark because it is a new way and a new road and my light has not shone there before,
but soon it will be bright and colorful,
full of love and joy and safety and security and the darkness will be no more.
For I move through the darkness knowing that it is part of my becoming.
In the darkness the questions are asked and answers are sought and brought to light.
And some of the questions are left in the dark
swirling around waiting for their time to come to light.
In the darkness I begin to see the beauty in and around me;
the beauty that was trapped, held back and not given room to grow...
not able to find a place to become.
This beauty has been there, and was not seen...
The beauty that was ignored and not cherished
The beauty that I longed for and dreamed of has come into her light...she has become.
As the light begins to break forth and peer through the cracks I am becoming...
the breaking and molding of me becoming, becoming who I was made to be,
becoming a woman of strength to take on the way ahead...
the way has been calling, the way that I have finally opened my ears to hear.
The way of becoming
And I am becoming a woman of insights and presence with something to say and place in the world to say it.
The light continues to move in and around me overcoming the darkness to bring my life to light.
And even as the light takes over and I am becoming the fullness of who I am and who I am to be...
sometimes it hurts to become.
Andrea Gibson’s spoken word piece, “I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power’s Out” contains the following line and was part of the inspiration for the above piece.
“I said to the sun, ‘Tell me about the big bang.'
The sun said, ‘It hurts to become.’”